Welcome to Women of Hope

My darling husband Adrian, Juan, Paul, luke and I                   

I am a mom of four wonderful boys between the ages of 2 and 16, and married to a wonderful Christian man, Adrian.  My heart’s desire is for women to find freedom in Jesus “For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery”, (Galatians 5) and to live the lives He has called us to. 

I was brought up in a loving home.  I am very blessed to be one of twins, and have an older brother.  I have fond memories growing up but sadly when I was 11 years old my parents got divorced. In high school my sister and I went to church infrequently and after the divorce my dad continued to take us to church but I never had a relationship with God.

My eldest son, Kevin and I

As much as I loved High School, did well academically and achieved in sports, I lacked confidence in myself and had a low esteem.  I never dated at school partly because I never believed I was worthy of anyone.  I met my ex-husband the year after I left school.  I was young, naïve and ‘lost’.  Unknowingly I got caught in an emotionally abusive relationship.  The writing was on the wall but I was young, knew it all, loved this man and was not going to allow anyone including family to interfere.  I was blind to seeing the truth. We both were insecure and seeking to be loved.  I made this man my idol, my god.

I was married at seven months expecting our first child. The months before we got married were some of the hardest and most trying times as I bore the 'shame' of my sin and having the 'good girl image' made it even harder for me.  The years that followed were unstable, and with each passing day I drifted into my own world, a world of denial, hurts, an emotional rollercoaster of highs and lows.  Our marriage slowly drifted apart, years of hurts, disappointments and unmet expectations.  From the outside it looked like we were happy but behind closed doors a different story was portrayed.  I found myself in a dysfunctional relationship called the victim triangle.  After years of denial we were divorced, the hardest part for me was letting go of a dream, letting go of the man I thought I would spend my life with.  Little did I realize the power this relationship had over me together with my codependency and so I found myself moving back.

Things were fine for a while but soon went back to what it was. I wanted more from life and believed this was not the life God wanted for me. I moved again sometime thereafter but found myself moving back.  I was not happy and wanted to find the life I felt the Lord wanted for me, to find freedom.  I moved to a back room in the house to prepare for the last move we would make, to remove myself emotionally from this relationship.  Then something happened that shortened our stay there…it was a burning bush moment, a moment you know changed everything, facing the truth of the danger that lay within I knew we had to move. 

I will never forget that first night of freedom – and the peace that transcends all understanding.  The Lord removed us from this relationship. I found the Lord in January 2004 and praise Him for what he has done in my life.  I know the Lord's plans are good and only to prosper us.  I thank the Lord for what I went through as Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His good purpose for them".  God can turn bad decisions and use them for His glory into good.  I have been burdened to help young girls to know who they are in Christ so that they will not make poor decisions due to a lack of self worth as I.

Had I known who I was in Christ I know my life would have been far different.  I am not sorry for what I went through, as I have three wonderful sons from my first marriage and God had to bring me to a place where I realised i needed a saviour, a place of surrender knowing He is all I need, all sufficient, my first love. 
We are as individuals solely responsible for the choices we make.  If we choose to hold onto the past, we will stay victims of it, but when we surrender it to God and live as a new creation in Him, we have victory.  My ex and I are both different people today. 

I thank God for His forgiveness, for never giving up on me, for His unconditional love and acceptance, for His mercy and grace.   I am who I am where I am today purely because of His grace.  It is my heart to share with other women the love of Christ.  My passion is to share what I have learnt  during this time with women and to share the Hope that can only be found in Him, Jesus Christ.